To Fire Island

 I am a child of the ocean. Arms outstretched in the sun, I let my fingers dangle over the railing. The ferry glides along the bay, and the spray from the surf below catches on my skin and clings in fine salty droplets, the wind slowly guiding them up my arm in tiny streams. I let the crash of water against the rudder wash away my thoughts, and I sit there, quiet and peaceful, as the waves cleanse me of my worries. For now, my mind is quiet, soaking in the bay waters, pure at last. The sun is warm and everywhere, and it wraps around me like an old friend, hugging me, soothing me, comforting me. Rest, it says. Be at peace. We will keep you safe. I am a child of the ocean, and this ferry is my vessel, guiding me everywhere and nowhere. I know this journey well, every bump of the wave, every seagull's cry, every gust of salt air. Take me, save me, nourish me, replenish me. My destination awaits, but for now we have this, these precious moments on water, floating, racing, waiting, being. Let me stay here for just one moment more. I am a child of the ocean.

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Sunday Currently : 27

 Happy Sunday! This weekend, the hubs and I traded in damp, humid DC for the damp, humid Hudson Valley.  My family gathered at my sister's new house in Westchester to celebrate my dad's 60th birthday, and, predictably, the time has passed all too quickly. Can we just press the pause button on time, please? Can we just all win the lottery so that we can work part-time and have four-day weekends? I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

reading : Oh boy, not too much. I'm still unofficially reading Catch-22, but I don't think I've opened it at all this week. Must get back to it! In the meantime, I am also trying to catch up on all of the blogs I haven't had time to read this week. Work has been especially chaotic and long this week, and I've found that I'm too exhausted to do anything but sprawl pathetically on the couch when I get home. This will change! 

writing : Drafts of posts that I've been compiling but have yet to publish. I've been pretty bad lately with getting posts up lately, and it seems that there has just been so much going on the past couple of weeks. I don't mean to neglect this blog, and I'm definitely aiming to get back on track this week.

listening :  The clinks, clanks, and voices of my sister's house. There is so much going on!

thinking :   About this afternoon's scheduled adventure to track down night tables! My sister has picked up some amazing furniture  courtesy of neighbors who have put them out on the curb, and legend has it that Cold Spring and/or Peekskill has some similar treasures in their antique shops. Will we find something? I hope so!

smelling :   Coffee and eggs. Thanks, frister!

wishing :   For more time to explore the Hudson Valley this weekend. I love it up here along the river, and though I know more exploring will come in the future, I'd like be lazy and enjoy it all today.

hoping :   For minimal traffic on the drive back to DC. Ha!

wearing :  PJs. I think this has been my answer for the past few weeks, but it's all true! Comfort is key for sticky summer mornings.

loving :   How green it is up here. Our run near Silver Lake was so beautiful, and I loved running under the canopy of trees as the rain trickled down.

wanting :  Bedside tables!

needing :   Breakfast. Those eggs smell really good...

feeling :   Sore from our run, as I realized I haven't run outdoors in a very long time, and my running sneakers have been neglected ever since our move. It felt great to get moving and to push myself, and now my quads have been reminded of what physical activity feels like. 

clicking :   On the New York Times Magazine article about actress Gaby Hoffman. In it, she speaks about how NYC is no longer as open to artists and creativity as it was in the past, particularly because spaces have grown exclusively expensive, and it made me think of how, sadly, all places must change. It also made me wonder about the future of NYC as a creative haven and how artists respond to their physical space.

Linking up with Lauren for the Sunday Currently 

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Yay, I Was Defrauded of $1000!

Ugh.

Honestly, when it rains, it pours. Despite having a rather lovely and perfect beach getaway this past weekend, this past week has overall been kind of rough. Most recently, on Sunday I decided to check my bank account balance from my phone while waiting for the train.... and immediately saw that someone had been withdrawing large sums of money from a hotel ATM in Greece. 

Insert panic here.

Naturally, I called my bank and reported the unauthorized activity. My account was frozen, a new debit card will be sent to me, and I should receive the full amount that was stolen from me. However, there are three things that keep running through my mind. First, how did my bank miss this? I was using my card in NYC at the same time the fraudulent copy was being used in Greece. It didn't look suspicious that I was supposedly in two different continents at the same time? The Fraud Department seriously messed up on this one. Second, it seems that the magnetic strip from my card was copied and used to make the fraudulent card being used abroad at the ATM. This means that one of the ATMs or retailers I went to recently is intentionally or unintentionally scamming people. Gross. Third, this person used the hotel ATM several times over the course of the weekend and withdrew over $1000 of my money. Again, although I should be getting my money back, it feels disgusting that this creep had a rockin weekend on my behalf.

This is such a violating experience. I am so grateful that I noticed the withdrawals before the thief managed to completely drain all of my accounts, but it still feels awful. Ugh. I want to literally shake this feeling off of me. If only it were that easy!

I don't want this to be a negative space, but I needed my little mini-rant about this. Blahhhh!!!!

Has anyone else been through something like this? Did the culprit ever get caught?

Sunday Currently : 26

I needed this weekend, and it delivered. There is nothing so calming and safe as being home. The familiar creaks of the floorboards, the cats squinting at me from the linen closet, the hydrangeas everywhere.... they all reassure me that everything will be okay. 

We had perfect beach weather yesterday, and my mom and I spent the afternoon sprawled in the sand, followed by our tradition of margaritas and French fries as we waited for the ferry to arrive to take us home. We saw my grandmother for dinner, had flying saucers from Carvel, watched a movie before bed.... this is what summer should always be. Family, simple pleasures, and sunshine. I needed all of this so badly, and the universe delivered. Thank you so so much for that. 

reading : Catch-22. I know I've been reading it for a while, but I took a little break this past weekend to read Shiver, which I thought would be better beach reading material. I really liked it! I'm a sucker for YA fantasy novels, so....

writing : Thoughts and posts associated with my little trip home. There have been so many things going on lately, both good and bad, and it's made me reflect on what it means to grow up and the importance of home. 

listening : To a small plane flying overhead and the whirr of the air conditioner running in the living room. Otherwise, things are usually pretty quiet and peaceful here. 

thinking :  About so many things! With each step I take, I am flooded with so many vivid memories of growing up, like doing cartwheels on the front lawn, following my dad through the backyard garden, building a fort out of wicker headboards in the back corner of the fence... 

smelling :  Warm summer air. 

wishing :  For the ability to accept change. Everything has been changing at once, it seems, and I'd like to gracefully accept that this is part of life. Turns out that this is actually quite difficult. Sigh. 

hoping :  For a good work week. Last week dragged on and was full of chaos, and I just want this week to be kinder. 

wearing :  PJs. There's something about lazy summer mornings that makes you want to pad around in PJs for a while before getting ready for the day. 

loving :  My life. Amidst all of the changes, the fact is that I have loving people all around me, and I am really grateful for that. 

wanting :   The rest of my J. Crew Factory order to arrive this week! One of my shirts was a disappointment, so I'm hoping that #2 will be better. 

needing :  Time. 

feeling :  Nostalgic, pensive, wistful... but also very happy. Yesterday was perfect. Truly perfect. 

clicking :  On the Cup Song from Pitch Perfect, as I am learning how to do the cup part while singing "When I'm Gone." Slowly but surely, I'm getting there! :) 

Linking up with Lauren for the Sunday Currently 

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Independence

Happy 4th of July, readers! We may not live in a perfect country, but it's a country that affords us great liberties, and for that I am very grateful. May you all have fun celebrating the USA's independence today! (If you're international, I hope you have a great day, too.) Stay safe!

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Prayers

Lately I've been coming to some very difficult realizations about growing up. I thought that I was getting the hang of this adulthood thing, I really did. I'm married, we just moved into our first house, and I'm at the tail end of my graduate program. I feel more mature than I was even just four years ago, and it feels like I've found a great direction in my life.

While those are all important things, none of them really compare with the growing pains. As adult as I thought I was becoming, all it took was a bad tumble to make me realize that I was still viewing myself-- all of my friends, really-- as young and carefree. Bad things don't happen to young people like us, I thought. Bad things don't happen because we still have so much of life to live, and we're far too young to face anything that could take that away.

Realizing and accepting that this is not the case, that bad things can happen to anyone at any age, is hard. It's really hard. One of my dear friends was recently diagnosed with cancer, and while she has a very good prognosis, receiving the news has shaken me quite a bit. It's not fair when the people you love get hurt, and it's scary when they get hurt in such a big way. It's as though the universe has sent a giant wave crashing over you just to remind you that you are, in fact, not truly carefree, and you're certainly not invincible. Thanks, universe. We got the memo.

This is one of the hard parts of growing up. I still have all of the pleasant milestones, and there will be more to come, but right now I'm treading around one of the darker points. One of our friends joked that at least such an upsetting event happened at a time in our lives when we are all strong enough to deal with it, and while I think we all would have found a way to get through regardless, I am grateful that even in the face of cancer, we are strong. My friend is strong, and she will beat this. 

I would like to ask for your prayers that my friend will beat her cancer and find the strength to get through the days that are to come. And, because we are all human and prone to the ups and downs of life, give your loved ones a hug. Call the friend you've been meaning to get back to. Life is too short, and we need to be present in the lives of those we love.

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The Seas of Essaouira

Morocco has a secret, and it is tucked in the seaside fishing town of Essaouira. I can't tell you what it is exactly, but I can try to describe it. It starts gradually with the call of the seagulls soaring through the air. It's distant at first, but as you walk through the winding cobblestone streets and make your way closer to the port, it starts to grow in volume. You walk a bit further past the men grilling the day's catch on coals, past the stray cats darting away with a stolen fish, and come to an open square. Your heart starts to beat a bit faster as you make your way past the gelato shop and postcard stands, your pace picking up as you make your way to the stone wall by the sea. The howling wind from the ocean is rushing towards you now, and you try to catch your breath, but it catches in your throat as your eyes widen.

I can't tell you exactly what it is about Essaouira. But as you look out upon the silent ramparts and the ocean's waves crashing wildly against the jagged rocks, you just feel it. You feel the souls of ages past, and you are transported through time, yet you are in no time at all. You just stand there, suspended, everywhere and nowhere, and feel it.

   

 

  

 

 

 

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