Thoughts From My Sickbed

Well, I hope that this doesn't signify the trajectory of my health this year, but I have been one sick puppy for the last few days. Fever, cough, phlegm, aches.... blegh. I still don't really know what kind of germs my immune system has been fighting, but my brainy P.A. sister's best guess was either bacterial bronchitis or pneumonia. Pneumonia! Who gets that anymore? (My sister also asked if I could have somehow contracted tuberculosis, which she then ruled out, but still. Come on. Tuberculosis? Oh boy. Cough cough.)

Needless to say, I have barely moved from bed since Friday evening, and my mattress may now permanently have an indentation of my body curled up in the fetal position. Delightful! Like memory foam, only... sicker...

But fret not, People of the Interweb, for today is a new day, and I shall attempt to rejoin society with the aid of my trusty antibiotics. With my fever finally gone and my pallor slightly less ghostly, here are the lessons I have learned from my sickbed:

Netflix needs to improve its comedy section, or I need to revise my film preferences. I relied a lot on Netflix to provide some streaming movie entertainment while I pathetically shivered beneath my blankets, and for the most part, it served its purpose. I watched some silly movies that helped lighten the mood and provide a distraction from my TB cough, but I was underwhelmed with the selection. Most of the choices I had either already seen or didn't care to see. Netflix: Give me more good movies options, please!

Ginger ale and seltzer water always help. Even though I didn't have a stomach bug, there's something about carbonated beverages that make me feel better when I'm sick. I'm not sure why, but I'll just go with it. 

Having a view of the outside world can be cheery. I was stuck in pretty much the same position for about three days, but it was nice to get some natural light from our windows, and when the weather warmed up a little bit on Sunday and Monday, I even cracked the windows for some fresh air. Fresh air feels so cleansing, and I definitely believe that it helps lift morale, as well as filters in some clean, non-germy air. 

Comfort foods are nice, but veggies are healing. As much as I love a nice, crispy pizza or a giant bowl of mac & cheese, I really try to up my veggie intake when I'm sick. My immune system needs all the help it can get, and I feel more positive when I'm giving it things like sweet potatoes and broccoli. Of course, a chocolate chip cookie can't hurt, either. :)

We really need to clean off the top of that dresser. Seriously. I've been staring at the dresser that sits against the wall across from the bed for days now, and I have no choice but to confront the clutter that has accumulated there. A mirror that needs to be properly hung, a wash cloth that never found its way to the linen closet, assorted papers... it all must go!

And there you have it. My fever-assisted wisdom. Any nuggets of wisdom that you've collected? Any tips that help ease a bout with the plague? Let me know! And in the meantime... don't forget to

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Yay, I Was Defrauded of $1000!

Ugh.

Honestly, when it rains, it pours. Despite having a rather lovely and perfect beach getaway this past weekend, this past week has overall been kind of rough. Most recently, on Sunday I decided to check my bank account balance from my phone while waiting for the train.... and immediately saw that someone had been withdrawing large sums of money from a hotel ATM in Greece. 

Insert panic here.

Naturally, I called my bank and reported the unauthorized activity. My account was frozen, a new debit card will be sent to me, and I should receive the full amount that was stolen from me. However, there are three things that keep running through my mind. First, how did my bank miss this? I was using my card in NYC at the same time the fraudulent copy was being used in Greece. It didn't look suspicious that I was supposedly in two different continents at the same time? The Fraud Department seriously messed up on this one. Second, it seems that the magnetic strip from my card was copied and used to make the fraudulent card being used abroad at the ATM. This means that one of the ATMs or retailers I went to recently is intentionally or unintentionally scamming people. Gross. Third, this person used the hotel ATM several times over the course of the weekend and withdrew over $1000 of my money. Again, although I should be getting my money back, it feels disgusting that this creep had a rockin weekend on my behalf.

This is such a violating experience. I am so grateful that I noticed the withdrawals before the thief managed to completely drain all of my accounts, but it still feels awful. Ugh. I want to literally shake this feeling off of me. If only it were that easy!

I don't want this to be a negative space, but I needed my little mini-rant about this. Blahhhh!!!!

Has anyone else been through something like this? Did the culprit ever get caught?

Snowy Tree Branches

Snow! Snow! Snow!

I was thrilled to wake up this morning to actual snow on the ground and big fat flakes falling from the sky. I was less impressed when DC schools failed to close or have a delayed opening (seriously, we've had classes completely canceled for snow predictions that never actually showed up, yet we can't even get a delay when the snow actually is here??), as I really wanted to spend the morning reading in bed. However, I quickly got over my crankiness (well, most of it) as I walked through the snowy paths to my destination and admired how beautiful everything looked blanketed in that glorious white snow.

No other photos today, just these happy snow-covered tree branches, but this was a good reminder to find the positive, even when my hopes for a snow day from school were dashed. 

Happy snowy Monday!

Busy Mind

So today is the day that I have to submit my rankings for the placement I want next year. The deadline is at midnight. For days I had stared at the Post-It list I had stuck on my bookshelf and felt sure in how I ranked the sites I visited. I thought I had it figured out. It was tough, but I felt good.

Then yesterday afternoon I started to feel uneasy. I started re-reading the brochures for my top choices and began shifting my priorities. What started as my #1 choice suddenly was up in the air and being pushed down the list, and my secure #4 took its place. The thought of passing up my first choice was terrible, but I began to think that maybe it wasn't actually the best fit for me and wouldn't give me the training opportunities I wanted. For the next few hours, my emotions went up and down as I shuffled my rankings around and frantically made lists.

Even as I write this, I'm not sure what I will decide. This sucks. It's hard to choose where I want to live next year, and it's hard to know which opportunities will be most important for my career. It's hard to think about passing up a place with a lot of prestige. It's even harder when I don't know where the hubs will be for grad school and whether we'll be together or apart next year.

I don't do well with changes. I get attached to places I love, and leaving them is really hard. The choice to move down to DC for grad school was tough, and I remember panicking when I finally accepted the offer. Even though it turned out to be the best place for me, change is hard. Change means goodbyes. It's hard not to let that color my decision.

It's also hard to give up a dream and to make a new dream. It's hard to accept that what I thought I wanted might not be what I actually want now.

My mind is busy today. There are so many "what ifs" and "should haves." In my heart, I know that any of these places will be good for me, but part of my mind is whispering to me that there is still a right choice and warning me not to mess it up. I am so confused today.

My mind is busy today.

Is there anything better?

Is there anything better than... cashmere socks?

(via)

Is there anything better than... the Les Mis 10th anniversary dream cast?

Is there anything better than... sleepy cat face?

Is there anything better than... colorful rainboots on a gloomy day?

Is there anything better than... looking up at pastel colors in the sky?

Unusual love

At my clinical placement, one of my fellow trainees was talking about an article she had read on Jezebel called "I Fell in Love With My Shrink." The title alone is pretty intriguing, but the article is equally, if not more, interesting. The writer talks about falling in love with her therapist and the process of telling her therapist about this, namely moving forward and processing this love. She's very clear that this love was one-sided and that the therapist never crossed any boundaries, and it sounds like the therapist handled it in the best way possible. Ultimately, the writer sounds like she's still a bit in love with the therapist even though they've since terminated their work together, but she ends with the idea that she's trying to move on.

This entire scenario is fascinating to me on so many levels. First, as a therapist myself, I know that transference/countertransference are very real things. Clients have reactions to therapists, and therapists have reactions to clients. Love is a pretty complicated reaction, but then again, it's not entirely surprising. How many of us have been in relationships where we are honest, vulnerable, curious, and open? Therapy requires all of that (well, maybe not requires, but some of the best therapy involves those things). It can be a really intense emotional connection that is unlike any other relationship in the client's life. So yeah, love isn't all that weird when you consider the level of emotional intimacy that can happen in therapy.

Beyond that, though, it was really interesting to hear this from a client's perspective and to know that yes, this woman did indeed Google her therapist until she found personal details like wedding photos, and that yes, they do indeed live in the same neighborhood. All of that can be terribly invasive (I've been on the receiving end of such Googling, and it is awkward, angry-making, and icky-feeling), but this writer's honesty in including that in her article made me realize that such actions don't necessarily come from a borderline, stalkery place. Sometimes it's curiosity or desperation. It is what it is.

I don't really know what the point of this post is, but this article really stuck out to me, and I wanted to write about it. It was interesting, and I wanted to share it.