November 13, 2013

So, About This Blogging Thing....

Does anyone else feel like life has been especially busy lately? I suppose that's to be expected when the lazy days of summer float away, replaced by the invigoration and of autumn. And that's okay, really. I love how this time of year makes me feel more motivated and less sluggish, and I really love what I do. I have so many moments of, "Wow, life is really freaking good" that make the tougher moments worth it, and I know I am lucky to be able to write that. I feel lucky.

But, damn, sometimes working full-time is hard, not so much because the work itself is hard (it is, but in a good way), but because I haven't quite figured out what I want my post-work hours to look like. I value self-care a lot, and I wouldn't be able to do the work I do without taking care of myself. That means having quiet time, drinking water, eating good meals, exercising every now and again, and having quality time with the hubs. It also means creating fun content to share on this blog, but as you may have noticed lately, that frequency has been dropping off the past few weeks. I have to admit that I'm stumped with this one-- How do I contribute to this outlet when sometimes all I want to do when I get home is enjoy a glass of wine over dinner with the hubs and extol the joys of wearing sweatpants?

Practically speaking, I'm learning that I need to write posts in advance. Writing after a long day of work just doesn't work for me, and it's more important to me to be present with the hubs rather than staring at a computer screen in silence. Now that I'm spending more time on my dissertation, however, I'm struggling to fit blogging in when I'm also trying to knock out a chapter so that, you know, I can finally earn my doctorate next summer (fingers crossed-- yes, you may call me Dr. Sarah). That is kiiiind of majorly important to me, too. So what's a chica to do?

I don't know, internet people. I just don't know. I suppose that I just keep trying to find balance, knowing that sometimes the scale will tip more towards the academic obligations, then back towards personal relationships, and then over to the recreational stuff for a while (clearly, this is a three-way scale-- obviously). And I'm okay with that, mostly. I still feel guilty when the spotlight dims over one of those areas, but I'm learning to accept it. I am human, after all, and I can't do everything. I'd love to, but... no.

I just needed to write this all out and share it. I know that this isn't a novel challenge for bloggers, and I have seen a lot of posts about this in recent months. I suppose I just want to say that I feel it, too, but because I value being mindful and present in my life, I am giving myself permission to let that list of half-written posts drag on for a little bit longer. I will still try to plan in advance and will aim to complete some of my ideas so that I can share them here, but it's a process, and I'm learning, and it's okay if I don't execute it perfectly.

So overall, autumn has motivated me to create and to connect, but it won't always involve the interweb. And that's okay! There is a 3-D life out there, and it is pretty darn wonderful. :)

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