I had a longer post written out, ready to go. Then, I accidentally deleted it. Apparently being nearly done with a doctoral program in no way prevents me from doing silly things-- good to know that I'm still human, right?
Anyway, the point is that I am DONE! Last week, I successfully defended
my doctoral dissertation and am now finished with the hard part of graduate
school. I am still waiting to get the formatting of my paper approved (margins
and spacing and all that jazz) by my college, and then the Dean has to sign off
on it. I also have a couple more weeks left of my clinical
internship, but that's it! It should be smooth sailing from here on out.
It's a weird feeling, as though I’ve been running this marathon for
years and years, and while I knew that the finish line had to be coming up at
some point, I also thought that maybe it was just a fantasy, a legend. And then
it finally appeared on the horizon, and before I had a chance to fully process
that I had made it, that I was going to finish, I had already crossed it and
was on the other end. And now there is just this feeling of pride, yes, but
also bewilderment and disbelief. Could it really be? Did it really happen?
I suspect that feeling will linger for a while longer. I keep correcting
people when they call me “Doctor.” Partly because my degree will not officially
be conferred until August, but also because there are still these small
administrative steps to go through before all of my graduation requirements are
officially completed. But maybe I just want to cling on to school for a little
bit longer. Maybe I’m not ready to let go just yet.
So it goes. Here I am. Defended, but not yet graduated. It’s an odd
place, but I think it is ultimately the place to be. For now.
